Definitely True - Vance, Ernie

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Résumé :
The western coast of the Bering Strait is made out of chocolate. James Kingswell, a high school teacher in the late 1930s, was the first person on record to be able to lick his own eyebrow. Cocker spaniels can rotate their heads 720?, but only in one direction. Nitroglycerin was originally used as a spice for tacos. These are examples of the delicious nuggets of misinformation packed into the pages of this book. There are 365 of them; one for each day of the year. Read through each one a day at a time, blow through them all at once, or use the handy (and thorough) index to find a lie about nearly any topic, from abbreviations to zoos. A lie for every occasion! A misdirect for each day! A saddle for every ferret! Of course you can ride a ferret! Approximately 44 hamsters died in their hamster wheels in order to transmit this message to your computer.

Biographie:
Formerly known as M.J. Guns, Ernie Vance is a pen name of Jason van Gumster with a particular focus on nerdy humor and general absurdity. This persona is the happy pit of cynical optimism and ironic wordplay. It's a playground for the brain and you're invited to be a part of the fun. Whether its with regularly shared lies or humorous adventures, Ernie's words are sure to tickle your gray matter like a pointy stick. Huh... I think I just said his words are like having a lobotomy. Let me check. Yup. A lobotomy with words. But, like, a fun lobotomy. That's what Ernie brings to the table. If you're a fan of ellipses, callbacks, strained metaphors, and parenthetical asides (like this one), then Ernie's work is right up your alley... which is certainly a bright and cheerful alley. Not a dark alley where they give less entertaining lobotomies.